I haven’t posted a makeup in forever. I think it’s been a year or so, maybe even more. However long it’s been, it’s been too long. Ridiculously long.
The thing is, I’ve been going through a really rough patch mentally, I’ve been down a lot, depressed and unmotivated, always tired, scared to death of nothing and anxiety riddled. Some of you might know what I’m talking about. It’s not been pretty.
One of the things that accompanied this ugly phase of mine was the fact that I didn’t feel like doing my makeup. TBH, I struggled to shower at some times. And for the life of me, I couldn’t bring myself to pick up a makeup brush.
And then there was this other thing – self loathing and perfectionism. Nothing I did was good enough, not my makeups, not my pictures, not my writing, just nothing.
The fact that my apartment is rather dim, which shows especially in winter, and I struggled with my photo lighting didn’t help any. It’s not like I hadn’t tried, but I soon learned that if I wanted to take proper pictures, I needed to take them outside. And it’s not like the prospect of sitting outside in freezing temperatures, trying to take makeup pictures was an extremely motivating thought…